What Does The Bible Say About Marriage
Introduction
Marriage is a sacred institution designed by God as a cornerstone for human relationships. It reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church, serving as a powerful symbol of unity, love, and commitment. By examining Scripture, we gain a comprehensive understanding of the purpose, responsibilities, and blessings of marriage. This ebook delves into the biblical foundation of marriage, exploring its significance, challenges, and role in the life of believers.
God's Design for Marriage
Creation of Marriage
God established marriage at the very beginning of creation. In Genesis 2:18, the Lord declared, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” God’s provision of a partner for Adam emphasizes His intention for companionship and relational wholeness. Genesis 2:24 further reveals the establishment of marriage: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This one-flesh union signifies a deep and intimate bond designed to reflect God’s own relational nature.
Marriage is also foundational to humanity’s role in creation. In Genesis 1:27-28, we read, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” Through marriage, humanity fulfills the command to multiply and steward creation, demonstrating God’s glory and creativity.
The Purpose of Marriage
Marriage serves profound spiritual and practical purposes that align with God’s design. First, marriage provides companionship. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” A marital relationship offers mutual support and encouragement, reflecting God’s care for His people.
Second, marriage fosters sanctification. Proverbs 27:17 illustrates this principle: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Within marriage, spouses refine each other through love, accountability, and shared growth in faith. Ephesians 5:25-27 highlights this dynamic: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Third, marriage establishes a framework for raising godly offspring. Malachi 2:15 asks, “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.” Parents are entrusted with the responsibility of teaching their children to love and follow the Lord, as commanded in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
God’s Blessing on Marriage
Marriage is a gift from God, accompanied by His blessings. Proverbs 18:22 declares, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” The joy and companionship of a godly marriage are sources of strength and encouragement for believers. Additionally, Psalm 128:3-4 portrays the blessings of a faithful family: “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”
Ultimately, marriage is a reflection of God’s covenant love for His people. Isaiah 54:5 states, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” The covenantal nature of marriage mirrors the steadfast love and faithfulness of God, providing a living testimony of His character to the world.
The Roles of Husband and Wife
The Husband’s Role
Husbands are called to lead their families with Christlike love, humility, and sacrificial care. Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This love mirrors Christ’s selflessness, prioritizing the well-being of one’s spouse. Colossians 3:19 adds, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” A husband’s leadership involves nurturing, encouraging, and protecting his family, as seen in 1 Timothy 5:8: “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
In spiritual matters, husbands are to lead their families in faith and devotion. Joshua’s declaration in Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” exemplifies the responsibility of guiding one’s household to honor God. Additionally, 1 Peter 3:7 urges husbands to honor their wives: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
The Wife’s Role
Wives are called to respect and support their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-23 teaches, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” This submission reflects a willingness to trust and follow the leadership of one’s husband, rooted in the example of the Church’s submission to Christ.
Proverbs 31 provides a detailed portrayal of a godly wife. Verses 10-12 declare, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” This passage highlights a wife’s industriousness, wisdom, and ability to bless her household. Verses 26-28 continue, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
Mutual Submission and Love
While Scripture outlines distinct roles for husbands and wives, it also emphasizes mutual love, respect, and submission. Ephesians 5:21 calls believers to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This mutual submission creates a dynamic of cooperation and humility, fostering a strong partnership.
Husbands and wives are also co-heirs of God’s grace. 1 Peter 3:7 underscores this truth: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” Galatians 3:28 reminds us of the equality of all believers before God: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Biblical examples of mutual support within marriage include the partnership of Aquila and Priscilla, who worked together to advance the gospel (Acts 18:26). Their unity in purpose and devotion to God illustrates how husbands and wives can serve as spiritual teammates, reflecting God’s design for marriage.
By embracing their roles and demonstrating mutual love, husbands and wives create marriages that honor God and testify to His glory.
Challenges in Marriage
Understanding the Reality of Challenges
Marriage is a blessing, but it is not without its difficulties. Even within the Bible, we see examples of couples who faced challenges. The story of Abraham and Sarah highlights the struggle of waiting on God’s promises (Genesis 16:1-2), as they grappled with doubts and took matters into their own hands, leading to conflict within their household. Jacob and Rachel experienced tension due to favoritism and family dynamics (Genesis 29:30-31; Genesis 30:1-2). These examples remind us that challenges are not new, and God’s guidance is essential in navigating them.
Sources of Conflict
Common sources of conflict in marriage include communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, financial pressures, and differing priorities. James 4:1-2 warns, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” Selfish desires and a lack of dependence on God can lead to discord.
Proverbs 15:1 offers wisdom for diffusing conflict: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Effective communication, rooted in grace and understanding, is vital for resolving disputes. Additionally, Ephesians 4:26-27 advises, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Addressing conflicts promptly and seeking reconciliation guards against bitterness.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of healthy marriages. Colossians 3:13 instructs, “...bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35) underscores the importance of extending mercy to others as we have received mercy from God.
Reconciliation often requires humility and a willingness to seek peace. Romans 12:18 encourages, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Philippians 2:3-4 further challenges believers to, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Trusting God in Difficult Times
Trials within marriage can strengthen faith when couples rely on God. James 1:2-4 reminds us, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Leaning on God through prayer and His Word equips couples to persevere.
Psalm 34:17-18 provides comfort: “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Seeking God’s presence and wisdom helps couples navigate difficulties with hope and trust in His faithfulness.
Through reliance on Scripture, prayer, and the support of a godly community, couples can overcome challenges and grow in unity, love, and faithfulness, glorifying God through their marriage.
Marriage and Intimacy
God's Gift of Sexuality Intimacy in marriage, both emotional and physical, is a gift from God. In the Garden of Eden, after creating Eve, God declared in Genesis 2:24 that “a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This union encompasses all aspects of intimacy, from companionship and affection to sexual relationship, which God designed to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage.
Sexual intimacy is portrayed as good and pure when it is kept within the boundaries of marriage. The Song of Solomon provides a poetic and vivid depiction of love and passion between a husband and wife. The couple’s mutual desire and delight in one another are celebrated, showing that sexuality in marriage is to be embraced and cherished. "Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits" (Song of Solomon 4:16). This expression highlights the beauty of marital intimacy and the fulfillment it brings to both partners.
Mutual Respect and Honor in Intimacy
The Bible calls both husbands and wives to honor and respect one another, especially in the context of intimacy. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 teaches, "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." This mutual giving of oneself is a picture of love and selflessness, where each spouse seeks to serve the other, fostering a deep bond of respect and care.
In marriage, physical intimacy is not merely for personal gratification but is meant to nurture the relationship and strengthen the covenant. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled." This calls couples to approach their relationship with purity and respect, guarding against the temptation to misuse intimacy or allow it to be influenced by selfish desires.
Intimacy and Spiritual Oneness
In addition to the physical aspects, marriage is about cultivating spiritual intimacy. Ephesians 5:31-32 points out that marriage mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. As spouses grow in their love and devotion to one another, they also grow in their love for God. Through prayer, worship, and sharing in God’s Word, couples experience an even deeper connection to one another and to God.
This spiritual oneness is crucial to maintaining a healthy marriage. Prayer together can strengthen the bond between husband and wife, as it invites God’s presence into their relationship and helps them align their hearts to His will. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The unity between a husband, wife, and God creates a strong foundation that enables them to face challenges and grow in love.
Divorce and Marriage Restoration
The Biblical View of Divorce
Divorce is a painful and complex reality in a fallen world. While God designed marriage to be a permanent covenant, He also acknowledges the brokenness of human relationships and the reality of divorce. In Matthew 19:3-9, Jesus teaches that divorce was permitted in the case of sexual immorality, but it was not God’s original intent. Jesus said, “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” This shows that marital unfaithfulness, though tragic, is a valid reason for divorce, but it should not be the first recourse.
Malachi 2:16 echoes God’s displeasure with divorce, stating, “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence.” Divorce breaks the covenant that God intended to be lifelong and hurts both partners. Yet, the Bible does provide hope for those who find themselves in such situations, calling for repentance and reconciliation whenever possible.
God’s Heart for Reconciliation
While divorce is permitted under certain circumstances, Scripture emphasizes that God’s heart is for reconciliation and healing. In the case of marital unfaithfulness, the goal should be restoration rather than separation. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 reminds believers of God’s ministry of reconciliation: “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation... that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.” In the same way, God desires that couples seek reconciliation and healing when marital difficulties arise.
Even when divorce has occurred, God offers grace and restoration. Psalm 34:18 assures, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” For those who have experienced divorce, God’s love is never far away, and He offers the opportunity for spiritual healing and wholeness. The church should be a place of grace and support for those walking through the pain of divorce, offering hope and encouragement as they heal and move forward.
Remarriage and God’s Grace
For those who have experienced divorce and are contemplating remarriage, the Bible teaches that God’s grace is sufficient. While remarriage may not be ideal in every circumstance, it is not outside of God’s will. 1 Corinthians 7:15 offers some comfort, saying, "If the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." This acknowledges that when one partner in a marriage has chosen to abandon the relationship, the other is not bound by the same covenant.
At the same time, the Scriptures call believers to marry in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39) and to consider marriage as a sacred bond that should be entered into thoughtfully and prayerfully. God’s grace extends to those who seek to honor Him in their new relationships, and His love and forgiveness are always available for those who have been hurt by past mistakes.
Marriage as a Reflection of the Gospel
Marriage as a Covenant At its core, marriage is a covenant between two people, but it is also a reflection of God’s covenant with His people. In Ephesians 5:31-32, Paul writes, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” This passage points to the reality that marriage serves as a living illustration of the gospel message.
The relationship between Christ and the Church is one of sacrificial love, commitment, and faithfulness. Christ’s love for the Church is unconditional and eternal, and He gave Himself up for her. Similarly, husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, putting their wives' needs above their own, just as Christ did for the Church. This covenantal love is not dependent on feelings or circumstances but is rooted in the commitment to honor and love one’s spouse regardless of the challenges.
The Beauty of Marriage as a Gospel Witness
Marriage has the potential to be a powerful witness to the world of God’s love and faithfulness. When a couple honors their vows, works through difficulties, and loves one another sacrificially, they display the gospel to those around them. The church, as the body of Christ, can look to marriages that reflect the relationship between Christ and His Church as examples of how to live out the gospel in everyday life.
In a world where marriage is often misunderstood or undervalued, Christian marriages should stand as beacons of hope and truth. Couples who demonstrate grace, forgiveness, and sacrificial love reflect the heart of God and proclaim the gospel message through their relationship.
Conclusion
Marriage is a divine institution that points to the love and faithfulness of God. Through the covenant of marriage, we experience companionship, intimacy, sanctification, and the joy of reflecting God’s glory. Though marriage comes with its challenges, it is ultimately a means of growth and spiritual refinement, and through the strength of God’s grace, couples can overcome difficulties and honor Him in their relationship. Marriage is not just for the individuals involved but serves as a testimony to the world of the faithful and covenant-keeping God who loves His people with an everlasting love.