What Does The Bible Say About Divorce
Divorce is a deeply personal and challenging issue that affects many individuals, families, and communities. For Christians, understanding what the Bible says about divorce is essential for shaping a godly worldview and navigating such a significant decision. While divorce is not a topic to approach lightly, Scripture provides clear principles to guide us, emphasizing both God’s design for marriage and His grace for those who have experienced brokenness.
Let’s examine the Bible’s teaching on divorce and explore how discipleship and a biblical worldview inform our understanding of marriage, divorce, and restoration.
God’s Design for Marriage
The Bible establishes marriage as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, designed by God to reflect His relationship with His people. From the beginning, marriage is portrayed as a lifelong, committed relationship:
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Matthew 19:6: “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
God created marriage, like many other systems, relationships, and created things, to better reflect and teach humanity about His character and nature (Romans 1). The world should be able to look at a Christian’s marriage relationship, see the patience, forgiveness, perseverance, and love they have committed to, even in difficult times, and then better understand God through those observations.
Christians are to acknowledge that marriage is a system in which they become instruments and active participants in God’s communication to the world. Marriage is not merely a human institution but a divine covenant meant to display love, unity, and fidelity. As disciples of Christ, we are called to honor this covenant, reflecting God’s faithfulness in our own relationships.
Biblical Grounds for Divorce
While God’s ideal for marriage is permanence, the Bible acknowledges that sin can lead to situations where divorce may be permitted. Note the word ‘permitted’ does not automatically give a blessing for divorce. Nevertheless, Jesus and the apostle Paul address specific grounds for divorce:
Sexual Immorality
Matthew 19:9: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Jesus teaches that sexual immorality (“pornēia” in Greek) can break the marital covenant, providing a legitimate reason for divorce. However, even in such cases, forgiveness and reconciliation should be pursued first, reflecting God’s redemptive heart. Healing and restoration are the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd goals before contemplation of divorce.
Abandonment by an Unbelieving Spouse
1 Corinthians 7:15: “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.”
Paul allows for divorce when an unbelieving spouse abandons a believer, emphasizing that peace is a priority. Again, there is a permission here for when one of the marriage participants are not Jesus’ disciple, while the other is. This principle underscores the importance of discipleship and living in harmony with God’s calling.
Exceptions and the Heart of the Law
While God’s design for marriage is lifelong unity, Scripture also provides examples where the spirit of the law takes precedence over the letter of the law. These instances demonstrate God’s concern for justice, mercy, and the protection of the vulnerable. In some circumstances, such as domestic abuse or threats toward children, divorce may be a permissible and even necessary course of action to uphold these principles. Let us explore how Scripture highlights the heart of the law over strict legalism in other areas, providing a framework to address these difficult situations.
David and the Bread of the Presence
In 1 Samuel 21:1-6, David and his men, fleeing from King Saul, ate the consecrated bread reserved for priests. Though this act technically violated the law, Jesus Himself later referenced this incident to illustrate the principle that human need can supersede ritualistic adherence:
Mark 2:27: “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”
This passage underscores God’s prioritization of life and well-being over strict legalism. Similarly, in cases of domestic abuse or severe harm within a marriage, God’s heart for protection and justice can take precedence over the ideal of marital permanence.
Jesus and Healing on the Sabbath
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus repeatedly healed people on the Sabbath, challenging the Pharisees’ rigid interpretation of the law. In Luke 13:10-17, Jesus heals a woman who had been disabled for 18 years, confronting critics by asking:
“Ought not this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan bound for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath day?” (Luke 13:16)
Jesus’ actions affirm that the law’s purpose is to serve humanity and glorify God, not to impose unnecessary suffering. This principle applies to marriage as well. While the covenant of marriage is sacred, it is not God’s intention for individuals to remain in environments of persistent harm or danger.
Rahab and the Spies
In Joshua 2, Rahab hides the Israelite spies and lies to protect them from capture. Though her deception technically violated the law, her actions are commended in Hebrews 11:31 for demonstrating faith and aligning with God’s greater purposes. This narrative illustrates that God values the intent and righteousness of one’s actions, particularly when safeguarding others from harm.
Implications for Divorce
These scriptural examples provide a basis for understanding that the heart of God’s law centers on love, justice, and mercy. In cases where remaining in a marriage would perpetuate physical danger, emotional abuse, or harm to children, divorce may be an avenue to uphold these principles. While divorce is never ideal and should not be pursued lightly, it can be a necessary step to protect the vulnerable and maintain the dignity and safety of all involved.
Balancing Truth and Grace
As Christians, it is crucial to approach these situations with both conviction and compassion. Divorce under these circumstances should be pursued prayerfully, with the guidance of godly counsel and the support of the church community. The goal should always be to reflect God’s heart—seeking restoration where possible and ensuring justice and protection where necessary.
Micah 6:8 encapsulates the balance we are called to maintain: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
By prioritizing the heart of God’s law, we can navigate the complexities of divorce with wisdom, grace, and an unwavering commitment to His truth.
God’s Hatred of Divorce
Even though Scripture permits divorce in specific circumstances, it is clear that God’s heart is grieved by divorce because it represents the breaking of a sacred covenant:
Malachi 2:16: “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
This verse highlights the destructive consequences of divorce, urging believers to guard their hearts and remain faithful to their commitments.
Remarriage After Divorce
The Bible’s teaching on remarriage varies based on the circumstances of the divorce. While Scripture acknowledges legitimate grounds for divorce, it also warns against entering a new marriage hastily or without regard for God’s principles:
Matthew 19:9: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
When divorce occurs for biblically permissible reasons, remarriage may be allowed, but it should be approached prayerfully and with godly counsel. The focus should always remain on honoring God and seeking His will. However, when divorce happens outside of biblical grounds, remarriage can lead to further complications and spiritual consequences. As disciples of Christ, our aim should always be to align with God’s design for relationships.
1 Corinthians 7:39: “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
This principle emphasizes the sacredness of marriage and the importance of seeking God’s guidance in decisions about remarriage.
In all cases, remarriage should be pursued with prayer, repentance, and an earnest desire to glorify God in the new union. The church community can play a vital role in offering support, accountability, and wisdom to individuals navigating this complex issue.
The Role of Grace and Restoration
The gospel offers hope and healing for those who have experienced divorce. God’s grace extends to all who repent and seek His forgiveness:
Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Romans 8:1: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
As disciples, we are called to reflect God’s grace by supporting and restoring those who have faced the pain of divorce. This includes fostering a biblical worldview that prioritizes reconciliation and healing wherever possible.
Practical Applications for Christian Living
Strengthening Marriages
A biblical worldview encourages proactive steps to strengthen marriages, such as:
Prioritizing prayer and Scripture: Couples should seek God’s guidance and wisdom together.
Engaging in discipleship: Investing in Christian communities and mentorship can help couples grow in their faith and relationship.
Pursuing counseling: Seeking godly counsel can address challenges before they lead to irreparable harm.
Navigating Divorce with Grace
For those facing divorce, it is vital to:
Seek godly counsel: Pastors, Christian mentors, and biblical counselors can provide wisdom and support.
Pursue reconciliation when possible: The goal should always be restoration, reflecting God’s redemptive nature.
Trust in God’s grace: Remember that God’s mercy is sufficient for every situation.
Teaching the Next Generation
Christian parenting plays a crucial role in shaping how the next generation views marriage and divorce. By modeling godly relationships and teaching biblical principles, parents can instill a worldview that values commitment, grace, and faithfulness.
The Bible’s teaching on divorce balances truth and grace. While God’s design for marriage is lifelong unity, Scripture acknowledges that sin can lead to brokenness. In such cases, God provides guidance, hope, and restoration for those who turn to Him.
As Christians, we are called to honor God’s design for marriage, support those navigating divorce, and reflect His love and grace in all circumstances. By adopting a biblical worldview and living as faithful disciples, we can demonstrate God’s redemptive power in our relationships and communities. May we approach the topic of divorce with both conviction and compassion, always seeking to glorify God in every decision.
Additional Verses on Divorce
Mark 10:11-12
“And he said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’”
Jesus reiterates the permanence of marriage, emphasizing the gravity of divorce and remarriage.Deuteronomy 24:1-4
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord.”
This Old Testament passage provides a legal framework for divorce under the Mosaic Law but also reveals the sanctity and permanence God intended for marriage.Luke 16:18
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
This verse underscores the consistency of Jesus’ teaching about the seriousness of divorce and remarriage.
Additional Verses on Remarriage
Romans 7:2-3
“For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man, she is not an adulteress.”
Paul highlights the permanence of marriage while affirming that remarriage is permissible after the death of a spouse.Matthew 5:32
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus emphasizes the narrow allowance for divorce and its implications for remarriage.1 Corinthians 7:39
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
This reinforces the idea that remarriage is permissible after the death of a spouse, with a preference for marrying a fellow believer.
Additional Verses Reflecting God’s Heart on Marriage and Brokenness
Hosea 2:19-20
“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”
This passage reflects God’s covenantal love and faithfulness, a model for earthly marriage.Psalm 103:8-12
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
This verse assures us of God’s grace and forgiveness, especially for those navigating the pain of divorce and seeking His restoration.