Practical Tips for Instilling Godly Values in Your Children
Practical Tips for Instilling Godly Values in Your Children
My mom and dad both had difficult upbringings. From unmentionable abuse to uncomfortable moments in public, both were ready to escape their homes and do something different with their lives than what they had been exposed to for so long. And so they did, marrying at a young age.
When I was four years old, and my mom had two children with a third on the way, my father was arrested and convicted of three counts of murder. She was left to raise, eventually, four children on her own. Young, unemployed, lightly educated, and now on her own. What would she do?
During the summers, my mom and her sisters would often travel to her grandparents’ house to spend some time. Visiting them was so much different than home life. Things were always so much more peaceful and ‘right.’ When my dad was arrested, my mom would contemplate that season in her life, longing to bring that upbringing to her own kids.
Remembering the times her grandparents would take them to church every Sunday and the morals and standards they had, my mom made the decision to raise us children as close to the standards her grandparents had as possible. There was no drinking and no cursing in our household, but there was plenty of affection and church. My mom worked hard to ensure that her kids knew a life different than her culture and upbringing. And it worked.
In today’s world, our children are constantly exposed to diverse perspectives and opinions, many of which may challenge or conflict with biblical principles. These influences come from a variety of sources: they spend a significant amount of time at school, where they encounter not only academic lessons but also the beliefs, values, and behaviors of their peers and teachers. Outside of school, participation in sports and extracurricular activities further exposes them to a range of worldviews, while the ever-present digital landscape of social media, gaming, and online entertainment amplifies these messages. The reach of technology is staggering—according to a 2023 Common Sense Media study, teens average over seven hours of screen time daily, not including schoolwork, while younger children average over three hours. These hours are often filled with content carefully curated to shape their preferences, ideologies, and even identities.
This digital immersion exists alongside the 35+ hours children typically spend in classrooms and other structured activities each week. Additionally, interactions with unsaved family members or peers introduce yet another layer of influence, as children absorb different attitudes, habits, and perspectives. When these factors are combined, the secular influences in a child’s life can far outweigh the amount of time parents and churches have to instill godly values and foster a biblical worldview.
This reality underscores the urgent need for parents to be intentional and proactive about nurturing their children’s faith. Parents must create opportunities to engage in meaningful conversations, teach biblical truths, and model Christlike living in everyday situations. It’s not just about counteracting secular influences but also equipping children to discern truth from falsehood, stand firm in their beliefs, and shine as lights in a dark world. By prioritizing time in God’s Word, prayer, and meaningful family discussions, parents can lay a strong foundation of faith that will guide their children through life’s challenges and help them navigate a culture that often stands in opposition to biblical values.
The Importance of Intentional Discipleship
Proverbs 22:6 provides clear guidance: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This verse highlights the weighty responsibility of guiding children not only to know about God but to develop a deep, abiding relationship with Him. Discipleship is not a passive task but an intentional and consistent investment in a child’s spiritual growth.
In today’s culture, children are constantly bombarded with messages and values that often stand in stark opposition to biblical truth. Whether through media, peers, or societal norms, the secular world relentlessly vies for their attention and allegiance. This saturation of worldly influences demands that Christian parents and mentors take active, purposeful steps to counteract these messages. If our aim is to raise children who thrive spiritually and stand firm in their faith, we cannot rely on a passive or occasional approach.
Many families rely heavily on church programs to disciple their children, assuming that a couple of hours in Sunday School or youth group each week will be enough. However, the reality is that these moments, while valuable, are a drop in the ocean compared to the hours children spend immersed in secular environments. Quick prayers before meals or occasional Bible readings cannot compete with the consistent, pervasive narratives shaping their worldview outside the home.
True discipleship requires a shift from compartmentalized faith to a holistic, integrated approach. Godly values and biblical truths must be woven into the fabric of everyday life. This means using teachable moments during routine activities—conversations in the car, shared experiences at home, and discussions about current events—as opportunities to connect biblical principles to real life. It involves modeling Christlike behavior, demonstrating how to navigate challenges with faith, and living out a deep dependence on God in front of our children.
Intentional discipleship also recognizes that every child is unique. Proverbs 22:6 speaks to training children "in the way they should go," which implies understanding their individual personalities, strengths, and struggles. Discipleship is not one-size-fits-all; it requires tailoring our efforts to meet the specific needs of each child, guiding them in their personal walk with Christ.
In essence, intentional discipleship is a lifelong commitment. It demands time, energy, and creativity, but the eternal rewards are immeasurable. By investing intentionally in our children’s spiritual growth, we help lay a foundation of faith that will guide them not only in childhood but throughout their entire lives.
Modeling Godly Values Starts with You
The first and greatest step in raising godly children is to be godly yourself. Children are remarkably perceptive. They don’t just listen to what we say; they carefully observe what we do and how we live. In many cases, our behavior behind closed doors becomes the most influential teacher in their lives. If we are impatient, unkind, or neglectful in our walk with Christ, we are inadvertently demonstrating to our children that these behaviors are acceptable, even if our words say otherwise. This is why the principles of discipleship and modeling Christlike behavior are so vital to Christian parenting.
Jesus provides the ultimate model for us to follow as parents. He lived a life of empathy, compassion, patience, love, and kindness. In John 13:15, He says, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” As parents, we are called to imitate Christ in how we interact with our children, demonstrating His character in the ordinary moments of life.
For example, when your child makes a mistake, instead of responding with frustration or anger, respond with grace and understanding. Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” If your child spills juice on the floor or forgets their homework, use it as an opportunity to teach responsibility while extending patience and love. A gentle correction paired with encouragement reinforces both discipline and grace.
When your child expresses their feelings or concerns, listen attentively, just as Jesus did when people came to Him. James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Put down your phone, make eye contact, and validate their emotions. For instance, if they are upset about a conflict with a friend, empathize with their feelings and guide them toward a Christlike response of forgiveness and understanding.
Additionally, let your children see you actively living out your faith. Pray with them and for them, not just in formal settings but during everyday challenges. For example, if your family faces a financial hardship or illness, involve your children in praying for God’s provision and healing, showing them your reliance on Him. Read Scripture together and explain how it applies to real-life situations, teaching them to lean on God’s Word as their source of truth and guidance. This intentional discipleship within your home cultivates a robust biblical worldview in your children.
Modeling Christlike behavior also involves humility. When you fall short, as all parents do, be quick to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. This demonstrates repentance and reinforces the biblical principle of grace. For instance, if you lose your temper, apologize to your child and explain how you are seeking God’s help to grow in patience.
By living out godly values in our daily lives, we give our children a tangible example of what it means to follow Christ. These consistent acts of love, patience, and integrity help them see the beauty of a life centered on God and inspire them to walk in His ways. Before you take another step, examine your spiritual life and the example you’re setting. Are you being Jesus to them?
Prioritize Biblical Community
Being part of a strong biblical community is essential for spiritual growth and discipleship. Hebrews 10:25 urges believers not to neglect meeting together. Regular church attendance provides children with:
Godly Role Models: Church introduces them to mature Christians who can mentor and inspire them.
A Sense of Belonging: Fellowship with other believers helps them see they’re part of a larger faith community.
Opportunities for Service: Serving alongside others teaches humility, teamwork, and compassion.
Make church a non-negotiable part of your family’s routine. Attend together, discuss the sermons, and find ways to serve as a family. These habits reinforce the importance of living in community with other believers and cultivating a biblical worldview.
But do we have to go to church!? That answer is here.
Regular Scripture Reading and Discussion
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 commands us to keep God’s Word in our hearts and impress it on our children. Reading and discussing Scripture regularly is a cornerstone of Christian parenting and discipleship. Here are some practical tips:
Set a Schedule: Dedicate time each day for family devotions. This could be during breakfast, after dinner, or before bedtime.
Make It Interactive: Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think this passage means?” or “How can we apply this verse today?”
Connect It to Life: Relate biblical principles to everyday situations. For example, if your child struggles with forgiveness, explore stories like the Prodigal Son.
By consistently engaging with God’s Word, you’re equipping your children with a biblical framework to navigate life’s challenges.
Foster a Habit of Prayer
Prayer is a vital spiritual discipline that connects us to God. Teach your children to see prayer as a natural and powerful part of their lives. Here’s how:
Pray Together: Model prayer by praying with your children regularly. Include them in prayers of thanksgiving, intercession, and confession.
Encourage Personal Prayer: Provide opportunities for them to pray alone. Suggest keeping a prayer journal to record their thoughts and requests.
Pray Over Them: Pray for your children daily and let them hear you do so. This reassures them of your love and dependence on God.
Through prayer, children learn to rely on God and develop a personal relationship with Him.
Live Out the Gospel in Your Home
Teaching godly values isn’t just about words; it’s about actions. Children are more likely to internalize values when they see them lived out. Here are some practical ways to demonstrate Christlike behavior:
Show Empathy: Take time to understand your children’s feelings. When they’re upset, validate their emotions before offering solutions.
Practice Forgiveness: Be quick to apologize when you’ve wronged them, and teach them to forgive others by forgiving them generously.
Serve Others: Involve your family in acts of service, such as volunteering at a shelter or helping a neighbor in need. This instills humility and compassion.
Celebrate Growth: Acknowledge and encourage their spiritual progress, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can inspire them to continue growing in faith.
Combat Secular Influences Proactively
To counteract the secular messages your children receive, be proactive in shaping their worldview. Here are some strategies:
Monitor Media Consumption: Be aware of the content they’re consuming and discuss it through a biblical lens. For example, if a TV show promotes selfishness, contrast it with biblical teachings on selflessness.
Engage in Open Conversations: Create a safe space for your children to ask questions and express doubts. Use these moments to provide biblical guidance.
Equip Them with Apologetics: Teach them how to defend their faith and lovingly engage with differing viewpoints.
Build a Legacy of Faith
Raising children with godly values is about more than temporary behavior modification; it’s about leaving a lasting legacy of faith. Psalm 78:4-7 calls us to tell the next generation of God’s works so they may set their hope in Him. By investing in your children’s spiritual development, you’re impacting generations to come.
Conclusion
Instilling godly values in your children is not a passive process—it requires intentionality, consistency, and unwavering reliance on God’s guidance and grace. As parents, we have the incredible privilege and responsibility to shape the hearts and minds of our children for Christ. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 calls us to this sacred task: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” This mandate challenges us to weave God’s truth into every aspect of our daily lives.
One of the most powerful ways we can guide our children is by modeling Christlike behavior. Children learn best through observation, and our actions speak louder than our words. Show them what it looks like to live with integrity, humility, and love. Let them witness you praying, studying Scripture, serving others, and responding with grace in challenging situations. For example, when facing a difficult decision, verbalize how you are seeking God’s wisdom through prayer and the Word, teaching your children to do the same.
Equally important is prioritizing biblical community. Surrounding your family with other believers creates a supportive environment that reinforces godly values. Regular church attendance, participation in small groups, and involvement in ministries provide opportunities for your children to see the body of Christ in action. Hebrews 10:24–25 urges us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together…but encouraging one another.” Encourage your children to build relationships with mentors and peers who share their faith and can inspire them to grow spiritually.
Engaging in Scripture and prayer as a family is another foundational step. Make time for family devotions, where you read and discuss God’s Word together. Psalm 119:105 declares, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Help your children understand that Scripture is their ultimate guide in life. Encourage them to memorize verses, journal their thoughts, and pray openly about their struggles and victories. Teach them that prayer is not just a ritual but an ongoing conversation with a loving Father.
Actively demonstrating love and grace is essential to pointing your children to Christ. Show unconditional love, even when they make mistakes, mirroring the grace God extends to us. Colossians 3:13 reminds us to “bear with each other and forgive one another…Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” For instance, when your child disobeys, use the moment to gently correct them while affirming your love and reminding them of God’s forgiveness. Create a home environment where love, encouragement, and patience thrive, helping your children feel secure and valued.
Ultimately, raising children who stand firm in their faith and reflect God’s glory in a broken world requires dependence on the Holy Spirit. Pray daily for wisdom and strength, trusting that God will equip you for the task. Philippians 1:6 offers hope: “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” By intentionally living out your faith, fostering biblical community, immersing your family in Scripture and prayer, and showing love and grace, you are building a foundation for your children to grow into faithful followers of Christ who shine His light in a dark world.