Six Signs Your Student Might Need to See a Counselor
Six Signs Your Student Might Need to See a Counselor
“Hey, this cough has been around a little too long. I’m going to take you to see a doctor today.” No one would bat an eye at this comment. “You’ve had this toothache for a week now. Maybe you ought to go see a dentist.” Again, no issues detected there. “I can see that you’ve been down for a while. Have you looked into talking to a counselor?” “What!? I’m not broken. I don’t need a counselor. I’m fine!”
When you hear the word “counseling,” what comes to mind? For many people, there’s an unfortunate stigma surrounding it, as though seeking help is a sign of failure or weakness. Some Christians might even think it demonstrates a lack of faith, believing that prayer alone should be enough to resolve any problem. But the truth is, counseling is not only helpful—it’s often a deeply biblical practice. Seeking wise counsel is a way of humbling ourselves, admitting that we don’t have all the answers, and trusting that God can work through others to bring clarity, healing, and guidance. Humility. That word is tough!
Seeking and seeing a counselor is actually a sign of wisdom, though. The Bible is filled with encouragement to seek wisdom from trusted advisors. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” Similarly, Proverbs 20:18 reminds us, “Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war.” Far from being a sign of weakness, seeking counsel demonstrates wisdom and maturity. In fact, even Moses, one of the greatest leaders in Scripture, relied on the advice of others. In Exodus 18, Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, counseled him to delegate his responsibilities to capable men, helping Moses avoid burnout. This story illustrates that even strong leaders benefit from wise counsel.
When it comes to our children and teens, the need for guidance can be even more pressing. Growing up in today’s world presents unique challenges—from the pressures of social media to the complexities of mental health struggles. As parents, teachers, and mentors, we are called to shepherd the young people in our lives, guiding them to walk in wisdom and truth. Proverbs 22:6 encourages us to “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Part of that training may involve recognizing when our children need help beyond what we can provide.
Our daughter was 15 years old and about to embark on an oversees trip without her mom or I. This would be her first extended time away from her parents. Her first international trip. Her first of many different things. And she was dealing with loads of anxiety. Stemming back to her grandmothers’ sickness and liver transplant, she had been trying to navigate stressful situations in life in unhealthy ways, and it was just time to get some outside advice.
She was opposed to it at first. Even after the first few visits, she wasn’t sure if it was beneficial or not. But she continued weekly for the months leading up to the trip. Overtime she began practicing the techniques the counselor had shown her and her Thailand trip was a huge success. She is now eagerly awaiting her next opportunity to go in a few months.
A trusted Christian counselor can make a profound difference in a student’s life. They can offer a safe space for your child to express their thoughts and emotions, provide biblically grounded guidance, and equip them with tools to navigate life’s challenges. As we explore six signs that your student might need counseling, let’s remember the words of James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Seeking help—whether through prayer, Scripture, or godly counselors—is an essential part of living a life of faith.
1. Persistent Mood Changes
Everyone has bad days, but if your child or teen is experiencing ongoing sadness, irritability, or anger, it might signal something deeper. Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh,” but if your student seems stuck in one emotional state, they could be struggling with underlying issues like anxiety, depression, or unresolved stress. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Sometimes, helping our children bear their burdens means seeking professional support.
2. Avoidance of Friends, Activities, or Responsibilities
Has your once-social student started withdrawing from friends or skipping activities they used to enjoy? Are they struggling to keep up with their schoolwork or household responsibilities? Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to stay connected to others, spurring one another on in love and good deeds. When a child starts isolating themselves, it could be a sign that life feels overwhelming and they need support. Jesus Himself sought connection and community during His time on earth, reminding us that we are not meant to navigate life alone.
3. Difficulty Sleeping or Changes in Appetite
Sleep and appetite are often indicators of what’s happening emotionally. If your student is sleeping too much or too little, or if they’ve lost interest in food or are overeating, pay attention. Psalm 4:8 says, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Chronic struggles in these areas might point to an internal conflict or distress. Jesus invites us in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” A counselor can help your child find that rest by addressing the root causes of their struggles.
4. Expressing Feelings of Hopelessness or Low Self-Worth
Teens and children can be hard on themselves, but if they’re consistently speaking negatively about their abilities, appearance, or future, it’s time to step in. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” When a student struggles to see their God-given value, a counselor can help them realign their perspective with biblical truth. Isaiah 41:10 offers comfort: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
5. Risky or Harmful Behaviors
If your child is engaging in behaviors like self-harm, substance use, or other risky activities, it’s a clear sign they’re struggling. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are called to honor God with our actions. These behaviors often indicate a need for immediate support and intervention. Proverbs 14:16 warns, “One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.” Seeking counseling can help your child turn away from harmful paths and find healing.
6. Trouble Managing Stress or Big Life Changes
Life transitions can be hard for anyone, but especially for young people. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a family move, or challenges at school, big changes can leave them feeling unmoored. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to bring our anxieties to God in prayer, but a counselor can also provide practical tools and strategies to navigate these seasons of life. Isaiah 26:3 promises, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
Finding a Reputable Christian Counselor
If you’ve recognized some of these signs in your student, the next step is finding the right counselor. Here are a few tips to guide you:
Ask for Recommendations: Start with your church community. Pastors or other trusted church leaders often have connections to biblically solid counselors.
Research Credentials: Look for licensed professionals who integrate faith into their practice. Organizations like the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) can be a helpful resource.
Pray for Guidance: James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Seek God’s direction as you search for the right fit.
Meet for an Initial Consultation: Many counselors offer a preliminary session to see if they’re the right fit. This is a great time to ask about their approach and how they incorporate biblical principles.
Final Thoughts
Seeking counseling isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a step toward healing and growth. Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” If your student is showing signs that life is becoming too complicated to handle alone, don’t hesitate to seek help. A godly Christian counselor can provide the tools, encouragement, and biblical perspective they need to thrive.
Remember, you’re not in this alone. God is with you and your child every step of the way. And with the right support, your student can learn to navigate life’s challenges with faith, resilience, and hope.