De-sissifying The Christian Man
The Problem: A Crisis of Masculinity in the Church
Look around at the average Christian man today, and what do you see? A timid, passive, and often spiritually apathetic individual who prefers comfort over calling, silence over standing, and convenience over conviction. Before you super-tough keyboard warriors get up in arms because you think I’m calling you out; hold your horses. I said ‘average’. Read on and test whether this is speaking of you or not before you get ready to hurl attacks and insults.
Too many Christian men have become weak, soft, and disengaged from the spiritual battles raging around them. Aside from making personal statements and attacks online, they fail to stand in the face of pressure and a sinful culture with a calm, mature resolve and combat those things which oppose godliness. Most Christian men today are fixed to watch the world be molded into a sad toxic witch’s brew. This is not the biblical standard for manhood. We were designed to be leaders, warriors, and protectors, not passive spectators in life and faith.
The problem isn't a lack of physical strength, career success, or personal ambition. It has nothing to do with knowing your way around tools or sports. The problem is a lack of biblical courage, responsibility, and leadership. Today’s Christian man is often hesitant to step into his God-given role as a spiritual leader in his home, church, and community. He avoids conflict, neglects discipline, and is often more concerned with being “nice” than being righteous. In short, the modern Christian man has been sissified by culture, complacency, and a compromised church.
What a Sissy Christian Man Looks Like
A weak Christian man is not necessarily weak in the gym or in his professional life. He is weak where it matters most: in faith, in responsibility, and in action. Here are a few characteristics that define a spiritually soft man:
Fearful and Passive – He avoids confrontation, even when it’s necessary. He lets sin go unchecked in his home and church, unwilling to stand up for truth. These men will point to the times they called someone out on their social media platform while on their phones in the bathroom, but they’ll never mention how they went and had a face-to-face conversation with someone to work some things out. He’ll tell you about his decision to make a personal change, but never how he led his family to giving up something that was hindering their spiritual growth, like screen time or apathy towards church.
Addicted to Comfort – He values ease over effort, convenience over calling. He would rather sit on the couch than engage in spiritual warfare. Now he may work 50 hours a week, participate in a men’s softball league, and make sure the yard is in order, but spiritually speaking he avoids ‘work’. Time with God, mentoring/discipling someone, spiritual discussions with the family, church prioritization; they’re all things that are too inconvenient, or require too much work.
Spiritually Apathetic – He might go to church, but he doesn’t lead in prayer, study the Word, or disciple his family. His faith is shallow, routine, and lifeless. ‘Go ask your mom,’ or ‘That would be a good question for the pastor on Sunday,’ are the likely responses if his teen asks him a question about the Bible or faith. His spiritual ‘peak’ was the month he got saved, or maybe at a high school summer camp, but he often finds himself in a spiritually dry place.
Emotionally Fragile – He is easily offended, avoids responsibility, and crumbles under criticism. Rather than being resilient and steadfast, he is overly sensitive and indecisive. He takes his hurt feelings and runs to his local barista to drown away the pain rather than taking a hard look in the mirror.
Fails to Lead – He does not take initiative in his home, expecting his wife, pastor, or others to handle spiritual matters while he remains passive. This has nothing to do with raising a voice, or demanding action from others in the house. It means taking the authority God has given him, being aware enough to know the emotions, intellect, and hearts of those in his household, and designing a plan to lead them closer to God, first by example and then by instruction and guidance.
How Did We Get Here?
The decline of strong Christian manhood didn’t happen overnight. Several cultural and spiritual shifts have led to this crisis of masculinity:
The War on Biblical Manhood – Society has spent decades redefining masculinity, often equating it with either toxicity or irrelevance. Many Christian men, afraid of being labeled as domineering or oppressive, have retreated into passivity.
A Feminized Church – Many churches have emphasized being “nice” over being righteous. Sermons often focus more on feelings than on truth, and men are rarely challenged to rise up as spiritual warriors. Warm fuzzies have replaced absolute truth.
Fatherlessness and Weak Role Models – Many men grew up without strong, godly fathers to model biblical masculinity. As a result, they have no blueprint for leadership, responsibility, or courage.
Comfort-Driven Culture – Previous generations had to fight for survival, freedom, and family. Today, we have an abundance of ease, entertainment, and distraction that lull men into complacency.
Fear of Offending – In a world where truth is labeled as intolerance, many Christian men are afraid to stand firm in their faith, fearing backlash or rejection.
The Biblical Model of Masculinity
God has given us a clear standard for what manhood should look like. The Bible does not portray godly men as passive, timid, or lazy. Instead, biblical masculinity is defined by strength, courage, discipline, and leadership. Here are a few traits every Christian man should strive toward:
Strong and Courageous – "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9). A biblical man faces challenges head-on and stands firm in faith, even when the world opposes him. Again, please note that ‘head-on’ does NOT mean firm comments online.
A Spiritual Leader – "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Leading spiritually means sacrificing for others, discipling those under your care, and guiding your family with wisdom and love.
Disciplined and Self-Controlled – "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls" (Proverbs 25:28). Biblical masculinity requires discipline in faith, work, and character.
Hardworking and Responsible – "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" (Colossians 3:23). Laziness and passivity are marks of weakness, but responsibility and diligence reflect godly strength.
A Defender of Truth – "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong" (1 Corinthians 16:13). A Christian man does not compromise on truth. He stands against sin, defends the innocent, and speaks boldly for righteousness.
How to Reclaim Biblical Masculinity
It’s time for Christian men to stop making excuses and start stepping into their God-given role. Here’s how to start:
Repent of Passivity – Recognize where you have failed to lead, take responsibility, and commit to changing. This is often the step that throws many off because they simply do not want to admit that they’ve been weak, irresponsible, or disobedient.
Prioritize Spiritual Growth – Read Scripture daily studying its context and meaning, pray consistently, and engage in spiritual disciplines that build strength and resilience.
Lead Your Home – Don’t rely on your wife or the church to be the spiritual leader. Take charge in prayer, teaching, and leading by example.
Embrace Hard Things – Reject comfort-driven Christianity. Take on challenges, do the hard work, and step into the battles God has placed before you.
Surround Yourself with Strong Men – Find a group of godly men who will challenge, encourage, and hold you accountable.
Engage in the Fight – Speak truth boldly, defend the weak, protect the innocent, and stand firm in your faith.
It’s Time to Man Up
The church doesn’t need more weak, passive, nice guys who avoid confrontation and responsibility. It needs men who are strong, courageous, and willing to fight for truth. It needs men who reject laziness and apathy in favor of discipline and leadership. It needs men who reflect Christ—the ultimate example of sacrificial, bold, and righteous manhood.
If you’re a Christian man, the time for excuses is over. It’s time to get serious about faith, family, and responsibility. It’s time to embrace the calling God has placed on your life. It’s time to stop being a spiritual sissy and start being a man of God.